So, have you figured it out?
It's been almost two months since I wrote about living the questions. It's been gratifying to hear from so many of you that it resonated with. I've been pleasantly surprised by some of the people who've reached out – often people I haven't been in touch for years. Thank you, I truly appreciate you all.
I've also been getting regular questions along the lines of "So, have you figured it out (yet)?". I figured an update is due 😅
Short answer: no, I haven't 😊 And I'm deliberately trying not to, at least for now.
🤷 Seriously?
Yes, seriously! The natural impulse is to start thinking, planning, figuring out what's next. I am actively fighting that urge everyday. I'm sure there will come a point where panic will set in and I'll be like "enough already dude, get your s#!t together", but I'm not there yet.
So for now, I'm just trying to be. Just allow the universe to unfold, and see where that leads me. This lovely post by Yewjin deeply resonated with me, especially the "wandering as a strategy" part:
Wandering isn’t the same as being lost. Lost is not knowing where you are. Wandering is exploring without a fixed destination. One is panic, the other is possibility.
🤔 OK, so what have you been doing?
Glad you asked! Between travel, start of school and life stuff, I've gotten maybe about 6 weeks in this new phase (whatever it is). It really doesn't feel that long. Some of the things I've done in that time:
- Hacking: I've been having a ton of fun working on some of my (erstwhile side) projects.
- Learning: In the process I'm learning a lot about new tools and tech that I'd been meaning to dig into but didn't have time before. Things like Bun and Instant and Convex.
- Vibe coding: And there's a lot of vibe-coding involved in this all, so I'm spending a ton of time with Codex, Zed, Gemini, Amp and so on.
- Writing: I'm trying to write more here, mostly to document things as I go along and as a way of processing.
- Healthy habits: Getting back to building some good habits like meditation, journaling, strength training etc.
- Music: I've picked back up the Ukulele, I've found a wonderful community with whom I practice twice every week. And as a fun challenge, I'm recording covers of Hindi songs and putting them up on YouTube – I've done two so far and I enjoyed it enough that I think I'll do more.
For the first time, in a long time, every day I wake up and kinda do whatever the hell I feel like doing. It's liberating!
🌹 That's too rosy?
It does, but it's not all rosy. I still have moments of fear, anxiety, doubt. The insecurity of slowly fading into irrelevance is always there, lurking around the corner. And for now, I'm just trying to hold space for it, honor it, bear witness. Without trying to "fix it" and judge myself too harshly. It's a work-in-progress.
Life is always throwing curveballs. A few weeks ago my partner had to suddenly leave for India due to a family health emergency. And the reality is it would have been much harder for us to manage this challenging time had I still been working full time. So I take some solace in the sense that the universe conspired to allow us to meet this moment from a place of strength.
And so, for now, I'm just taking it one day at a time. I recommend you try it too 🙏
